Summer Breath

She jumped off the steep cliff. She will miss this. All this. She enjoyed it so much, but when it is at its best you should leave. Why didn’t she hit the water yet? It felt like the time stopped – for her. She felt her wavy blond hair on her shoulders while she fell and fell. She was happy that she was able to experience this adventure called life. As she hit the water she hold her breath and closed her eyes. Everything turned completely silent as the warm water surrounded her and the water surface closed above her head. She couldn’t see anything, just bubbles. Everwhere. She moved her legs so she can come to the surface again and breathe. As she came closer to the top she heard mumbling voices and laughs from far away. She could breathe again and then she saw them, waiting there on the other side of that cove with that clear turquoise water.

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4 thoughts on “Summer Breath

  1. What wonderful talent you have! I can see that @Sha’Tara has already pointed out the most common mistakes and now I am left with nothing else but praise. 😀 (I am jealous! :D) Extremely eloquent write, I can truly feel the longing in the words. 🙂

    One advice though, when you write try to put your everything into it. Work hard, don’t write content that is good enough to publish, write content that is too good to not be published. You have the talent, all you need now is skill and what better way to nurture skill than to experiment?

    Keep it up and about! You have friends here to help you whenever you need, don’t waste them and their skill! 🙂 Good luck! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Evocative-like being there. Watch your tenses! “As she hit the water she hold her breath and closed her eyes.” “hit the water” is past tense. So you have to say, “held her breath” – then it works with “closed her eyes” see? “As she hit the water (would be better to say “before she hit the water” actually) she held her breath and closed her eyes.” Great work from someone not living in an English speaking world!

    Liked by 2 people

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